Review: Gora

Gora by Rabindranath Tagore
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

A beautiful story of a white man raised in an Indian family.

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Review: Room

Room by Emma Donoghue
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

It took me time to get used to reading from a child's perspective and language. But then I got a hang of it. It is not just a simple story of perseverance and escape but more than that. It deals with the struggles after such an event, mental health and about exploring a new world after you are out in a real world at the age of 5 instead of being born into what is considered normal.Room

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Review: The Story of Beautiful Girl

The Story of Beautiful Girl by Rachel Simon
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This book is an absolute read for someone who loves to read real to life, beautiful stories about love, struggle, life in general. This one is not for an adrenaline pump...I do love some thriller kicks sometimes but I also love and appreciate books that make me think, feel and worry about it's characters.

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To my valentine!

I know you love me in your special ways

Sometimes kiss and sometimes other ways

A sparkle of smile and that shy gaze I see

Sometimes hands and sometimes words

A little help here and a little mess there

But all in all it's love I care

I know you love me in your special ways

I know you want me to know

That you love me all the time

You know we speak different languages and all

But we both mean the same, come on

Love is what keeps us whole

Day and night it shines with us

I know you love me in your special ways

I know when in love there is no date and time

All we know is love each other all the time

It is not a switch to turn it ON

But a feeling that carries ON

And I love you so much and on and on

All the time I don't know how it goes on

Sometimes I smile thinking of you

Sometimes I am angry because of you

But it's still love that i do to you

Happiness and glee fill me in

With you in my thoughts all the time

I know there is no date or time

To tell you that I love you now 

But you know so busy we are

Always managing chores that we have 

So I think we need a special day

When I take some time out

To write my love for the love of my life

And let you know that you are the special one

Always have been the cherished one

No matter if I punch you or smile

I always feel the love for you guy

I so much love you now and ever

It's not going to change ever

We will be together forever and ever.

Sands in the Hands

Does it feel like Sands in the hands?
You reach where you
Always wanted to be
You do everything you
Always wanted to do
And then suddenly
It feels like sands in the hands!!!!!!!!!
Why did I do this?
What was I
thinking all the time?
It doesn’t feel
The way I
thought it would!
And it all feels like
Sands in the hands…
You try to grip it hard
And it just slips all off
You panic
And hold it tighter
And it drains through
All the sieves of Hands
And it was all sand
That you were
Chasing all along!
Does it feel like sands in the hands?????????

Aaj kuchh Andhera sa hai

Yahan aaj Kuchh

Andhera sa hai

Dil aaj kuchh

Dooba Dooba sa hai

Ek aahat hui

Toh kuchh

Ghabrahat si hui

Na jaane aaj kyon

Sab kuchh

Sehma sehma sa hai

Pata hai ki ek din

Ujaala bhi aayega

Muskurahat se

Ek din Sunahla

Bhi ho jayege

Pata hai ki khushiyan

Kuchh zyada

Door nahi hain

Par fir bhi aaj

Kuchh andhera sa hai.

Kya ho jo yeh raat

Andheri hi reh jaye?

Dar lagta hai kahin

Ham akele na ho jayen.

Aise toh kabhi

Hum darte naa the

Par aaj aise hi

Kyon sab

Geela geela sa hai.

Yoohin Dil

Ghabraya sa hai.

Pata hai hamein

Ki jo aaj tum hote

Toh aise hum

Yoon seham jaate nahi

Par pata hamein

Ki ab bas kuchh din hi

Aise door rehna hai

Fir toh bas roshni

Ka basera hai

Par fir bhi

Aaj kuchh andhera sa hai.

CORNER

I feel like rolling like a ball
And just lie in one corner
Corner of my room
Corner of this world
When I can’t be the centre
Centre of your heart
Then will lie in one corner
Where no one
Can see me again!
It’s just so sad
To be left all alone
Take care of myself
All the time all alone.
It kills me to be dependent
But this what I need
I don’t know if I can
Be more and more nice
Sweet and calm and nice!
Everything is cold
So cold like an Ice!
Waiting for the Ice
To make me numb again
So numb that I don’t feel
Don’t feel and think again.
Will roll in one corner
And stay there forever
then
Will not think again
Will not feel again.

Strange

With no words
I know
That you love me for sure.
I know that words
Are not that you want
To let you know
How I feel for you?
But yet I write
The words from my heart
To let you know
What you mean to me?
I don’t want to let
Any word
Or no word
Mean anything
Other than what I really feel…
What I feel for you…
Whatever you do
Or whatever you say
But please don’t forget
That I still love you today.
I might just complain
And crib and cry
But let me tell you
That I still love you.
I might just say
That you hurt me and all
But don’t you know
That I still love you?
If no love
Would have felt no pain
How do I tell you
This again and again?
I can wake up every morning
And tell you again
And tell you every night
Before you close
Your eyes to dream
That I love you now
And will love you forever.
I am scared and worried
Cause that is what I learnt
but don’t you know
why I worry
because I always loved you
the way I do that
now and ever
and will do that forever.
Love you…..

I still love you the same

I remember holding you in my hands
And I was so scared to hold you tight!

I held you for hours in my arms untiringly
And wove a thousand dreams unsleepingly…

I touched your soft skin so tenderly
And smelled your baby fragrance so lovingly.

I remember every feeling and every moment!

Now I see you growing up
Into a young lady
And I still want to hold you tight.

It hurts to see you struggling
And I wonder how silently you do that!
I wonder what miseries and mysteries
You hide in the silence of your words
That no one can hear!

My heart aches to see you
And let you go through this all
How alone you must be feeling now!

But darling I am there
Still holding your hand
The way I held yours
When we were happy and gay.

I wish to hold you like a baby you were
And save you from the world
Which is cruel as ever.

But one thing I can never change is that
We can never change the world like that
We walk alone in the world so cruel
But darling I’ll hold your hand as ever…
As ever… and forever.
I love you dear.

Zindagi humari

Taaron mein phasgai hai zindagi humari
Sitaron per pahuchne ki chaah mein....

Apno ka saath chhoot gaya
Hazaaron tak pahuchne ki chaah mein...

Jeete hain zindagi is aas mein
Ki ek din to poore honge khwaab yahin...

Kaagaz mein hisab karte hue
Chhoot gaye hain zindagi ke hisaab kai...

Kam hai saasein per kaam kai
Bhool gaye hain zindagi ke ehsaas kai...

Hurdum dhoondhte hain naye saath kai
Kyon bhool gaye chhod chuke hain apne saath kahin...

Today is the only Day

I know today is the only day
Donno if there is another day!

Don’t know how many?
How many and how much?
Got hurt and cried
Coz I didn’t care
Or I was
Too selfish to see
To see and feel
But today I say
Sorry to all.
Coz I know
Sorry means nothing
But there is nothing
Else that I can do now!

To the past I say sorry
And thank you to all
Who made my life
A pleasure to live
As I opened,
My eyes to a new day
You all were there
To make it bright.
I stepped in the future
Which is today
Coz you all stood by me.

And I wanna tell you
That I always loved you
And I Love you today
And will love you forever
If there was another day!
As I know that Today
Is the only day.
Today I decide
To tell you that
I cared and loved
From the core I have
Which is pure as a child.
But there may not be another day
I may not get another chance
To tell you that I love you.

You may not be the best one
You may not be the first one
You may not be the last one
You may not be the only one
I might keep nagging
Shouting and saying
Cribbing and crying
That I don’t like what you do
What you have or what you say
But today is the day
When I tell you this
That nothing else matters
Now that I know
That there may not be another day
What matters is only
That I love you now
And will love you forever!

Today is the only Day we have……

One More

It has been just a few days
Feels like so long
No drops shed
Feels like a sea
There is nothing that I can see
But feels like something deep
Something stuck inside
And I feel like pulling it out
But I can’t see
From where it comes out!
It is so heavy that I wonder
I wonder how I am carrying it!
The air is so fresh and fragrant
But I wonder why I can’t breathe!
There are smiles all around
But I wonder
I wonder why
It takes so much of effort
To add one more!
I wonder how simple
It is to add one more
But still so impossible
To achieve one more!

I want to fall some more....

The vacant dull feeling!
What do I do?
The ache deep inside!
What do I do?
The blurred wet eyes
see what is not!
Here I am stuck again
between passion and pain.
Life goes on and
I see no end.
I sink somewhere deep
in a dark, deep and dangerous sea.
I fall and fall from
heights not known
and float in midst
of a place unknown.
I feel the wind and
feel the chill.
I close my eyes
and feel the fall.
I still want to fall
and fall more deep.
I want to see the end
an unknown deep end!
I want my life
and want it no more
and some more
and no more.
I want to fall some more...

Secrets

There are no Secrets....
With unspoken words
And no words written
How is it that
There are no secrets!
I hide them here
And sometimes there
But How is it that
There are no secrets!
Hours of silence
And wandering eyes
Then How is it that
There are no secrets!
I wash my face to Camouflage
That salty water
Still How is it that
There are no secrets!
The secrets spill
From silence and noise
And water and salt
And the choking voice....
There are no Secrets!

THE UMBRELLA DAYS

A red one and a black one
Here they catch my attention.
The black one covering the red one
Almost covering under its shade.
The red one and the black one
Walk together again.
With the roads so wet
And the rains so pretty
They take the steps together again
The red one and the black one.
With the mountains surround
I look around
The green so beautiful
And dripping all around
I see the red one
And the black one.
The beautiful sky
All gray around
I hear some thundering sound
I catch the sun
Just peeping around
The light just scattered
With gray and white surround.
I smile,
At the hide and seek
And wonder at all the colours around!
And again I see
The red one and the black one
Walking hand in hand.
I look up the sky
To see the hole
To look for something
To hold the rain.
And I feel the drops
Gentle drops on my face
They kiss my eyes
My face and my lips
They drench my soul
And wash it through and through.
I no more feel
To stop the rain.
I see the red one
And the black one
Walking down the rain
And I etch this day
In my memory forever
As one of the days of
THE UMBRELLA DAYS…

Guilt

Why do I carry
So much of weight
Weight of Guilt?
If it isn’t Guilt,
Then I wonder
What it is!
Guilt of doing
What I want!
I just can’t do
Without doing
What I want!
Every step
Is so painful,
Every step
I know
Is crushing someone.
Yet I can’t
Stand still
For someone.
Someone who
Had been my life!
I can’t stand still
For that someone!
I step in the puddles
Puddles of tears
Tears of that someone
And I move on!
Every step
Is so painful.
It hurts
As I shed
My own tears
In those puddles
Puddles of tears,
My tears of apology
My tears of guilt
But darling!
I just can’t stop!
I am sorry.
I will always
Carry the pain
The pain of guilt
But I will move on
I know it will
Get heavier
With every step
That I take
But I have to move on
Move on to be myself,
To do what I
Believe in.
On the way I find
Guilts,
Guilts of my deeds
Guilts of other’s deeds
Guilts of no one’s deeds.
How does it feel
To move on
Seeing someone
In pain.
My blood in pain
For no one’s deed!
I see my blood
Helpless and pleading
I carry this guilt
The guilt of moving on.
I know I can’t
Help my own blood.
I accept life
Its pain and joy.
I move on
With the guilt
Of accepting
The pain
The pain of Life
For others!
I move on
With the guilt
Of accepting
The joy
The joy of life
For myself!
But I can’t stop!
I just can’t stop!

Why can’t it be just different than usual?

I have to close my eyes
Every night.
And do it every night.
Why can’t I keep them open
And sleep and dream
Every second?
I have to do everything
Right every time.
And do it all the time.
Why can’t I do things
Wrong and have no cries
And guilts for every one?

Scared

First time in my life
I am scared!
Scared in a way,
I have never been before!
First time I think,
What if…
First time in my life
My hands are shaky!
Shaky in a way,
They have never been before!
First time I feel,
What if…
This is so weird,
To feel this way.
I have never been
On the other side before!
And I am scared.

The beautiful Morning

The gentle breeze
It touched me so softly
And a song so soft
Carressed me back
To the morning.
The new day has begun
And I step out in the world.
The world outside,
Drenched with rain
And fragrances of heaven.
I stepped in that heaven,
With green beauty in my eyes
And the gentle tickle
Of the drizzle
Is all I remember.
I still want it some more.
The beauty of this new day
Is captured in all my senses.
I open my arms
And welcome the
New morning.
A new morning which
Is so beautiful
As one of the
Best of all mornings
In this new city.
The city to whom
I am a stranger.
The city where
I came with dreams
So beautiful.
But this new morning
Showed me the beauty
Of this new city to me.

The Cold Sweetness

Once again we are
there,
The same place
I remember!
I hope that you too
remember!
With the taste of the same
Cold Sweetness melting
On our tongues,
I wonder if you
Too remember the same!
I remember them
with certain fondness
and wonder if you too
do the same!
Sometimes I see a
glimpse of something
and wonder if it’s the same!
The smile that hides
A million secrets
Unlike mine says nothing.
Yet I wonder the meaning
Of each bubble of smile
And wonder if it’s the same!
I collate the moments
To put them in my drawer
To remember and cherish
All the wonderings that
I did today
And have been doing.
Some day if I am lucky
I’ll know what you mean
But I wonder how
It will feel
To miss all the wonderings
That I cherish!
When your doors are open
And you close them so soon,
I dare not enter too far
For I may not
Be able to come back.
As you close them so soon
That I fear
to get trapped.
At times I fear that trap!
One day if
I am brave enough,
I will enter
Inside through
the door
And will not fear
It close.
Will see you all
From inside
Cause right now
I just get a glimpse
From the doors
So little open!